The Rebirth of Christ in a High School Football Stadium

Yesterday we attended my stepdaughter’s pep rally at her new high school. She’s in the marching band and will be cheering on the football games with her magical tuba.

Sitting in the stadium, watching the high school introduce each team (football, tennis, swimming, etc), I couldn’t help but feel increasingly uneasy at the amount of enthusiasm spilling from the crowd. Especially when the varsity football team came out on the field.

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Everybody stood and basically bowed to the team as they gathered. Maybe it’s because I never actually attended high school, but this kind of attitude weirded me the hell out. I had suddenly found myself in an episode of Friday Night Lights.

This town fucking worships high school football. They don’t just like it, they need it. High school football is their true religion. The field is their church. They believe in winners, baby. To lose or talk ill of the sport is a goddamn sin. I’m sure it doesn’t help that we live in Texas. Who are we kidding? Of course it doesn’t help that we live in Texas.

And then, after everybody had taken the field, they decided to play the school song. They also encouraged us all to stand and wave the school symbol. I managed to take a photo of people presenting this symbol, which I’ll show you below:

gun school

What the fuck?


I’m not sure how to process that, so I’m just going to selfishly link you to my new novel, which is now available to pre-order. Which you should do, because of reasons. Also, beware of brainspiders.

Pre-order HERE.

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