It’s 2:30 A.M., Christmas morning. I’m at the hotel, watching a movie. I hear someone walking around in the lobby, so I pause my laptop and go investigate.

There’s a man standing in the middle of the lobby, staring at the ceiling. He’s a big man, at least 250 pounds, but most likely much more. He’s wearing a black T-shirt and black underwear and nothing else. His hair goes down to the middle of his back and his beard sags to his massive gut.

I clear my throat and ask if I can help him with anything. He jumps, startled at my sudden presence, then mumbles something I can’t hear. I ask him to repeat what he said, and he stumbles toward me, saying, “Are you Mr. Doug?”

“Am I Mr. Doug?”

He nods. “Yes, are you Mr. Doug? You know, the Mr. Doug?”

“No. I…I am not Mr. Doug.”

“Oh, okay.” He pauses for a moment, then raises his hand and salutes me. “Thank you for your service, Mr. Doug.”

I return the salute and say, “You’re welcome, sir.”

He smiles and gets on the elevator.

Merry Christmas.