Tag Archives: matthew revert

Cover Reveal: How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers

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My next book will be a short novel called How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers. It’s about a bizarro small press reacting badly to a blogger who constantly targets their books with negative reviews. It’s being released this April by Bizarro Pulp Press, the weird fiction imprint of Journalstone.

Mark it as “to-read” on Goodreads here.

Now take a look at Matthew Revert’s cover design:

strangers cover

1. Do not respond to bad reviews.

2. If you must respond to bad reviews, please do not kidnap the reviewer.

3. If you must kidnap the reviewer, do not kidnap him in a public area.

4. If there are witnesses, do not also kidnap them.

5. If you also kidnap the witnesses, consider quitting crystal meth.

6. If you find yourself surrounded by hostages, purchase extra duct tape.

7. Do not let the hostages take their own hostages.

8. Invest in better coffee.

9. Don’t forget: dildo crucifixes have more than one use.

10. And, most importantly: do not engage the severed heads in conversation.

Contributor Copies of BLACK Have Arrived

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Tonight when I got home, there was a huge box of books waiting on my porch. They were all copies of the same book, actually. A book that I wrote. A novella, if you want to get technical. A horror western novella about a gunslinger with immortality, if you want any more details, which I have to assume you do. It is called Black.

Observe!

 

 

That’s a lot of books, huh? I bet you’re wondering what I’m going to do with them. Well, obviously I am going to get naked and roll around with them in bed. In fact, I’ve already done that! I even took a photo as proof.

Observe again!

 

 

Now, observe this dedication page!

 

 

Good, now lastly, observe my girlfriend’s child as HE observes my book.

 

 

Now maybe you ought to go buy the thing, considering I just showed you nude pics of me and all.

 

Now Available – BLACK (a novella)

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My horror western novella, Black, is now available in print from Hazardous Press. And the publisher has made it extremely affordable at just $4.74. That’s for the print edition, mind you–not the ebook. That’s $4.74 for 84 pages of horror fun.

The Amazon blurb describes Black as “A horrific zombie western tale of a gunfighter cursed with unwanted immortality. It’s one thing to make a deal with the Devil; it’s another when the deal is made for you.”

It also features a lengthy, exclusive interview with Joe McKinney, the king of zombies. Again, all for under five bucks. Holy crap, right?

Just take a look at this beautiful cover designed by Matthew Revert and tell me you don’t want that in your hands RIGHT THIS INSTANT:

BUY BLACK TODAY!

 

Hazardous Press to Publish BLACK (a novella)

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COMING OCTOBER 2013 FROM HAZARDOUS PRESS!

 

I have sold my horror western novella, BLACK, to Hazardous Press. It will be released this October!

BLACK was previously published in the anthology, WELCOME TO HELL (edited by Eric S Brown), and my personal story collection, TRUE STORIES TOLD BY A LIAR, and it has now been revived and expanded to be printed solo. Joe McKinney will also interview me about zombies and the interview will be collected in the back of the novella as “bonus content”.

Thanks to Robert Helmbrecht for taking a liking to this story and believing in it enough to publish it. It’s one of my favorite stories and I can’t wait to share it with a wider audience.

The cover was, of course, designed by the always wonderful Matthew Revert.

Cheers.