I’ve been watching Twin Peaks on Netflix during my night shifts at the hotel. I tried to watch the show a few years ago, but I was spacing each episode out too widely, and ended up becoming lost every time I returned to it. This time I went through the first season in one week. I wrote down some thoughts. They contain spoilers. And…other things. Here:

• That ended sooner than I expected. Netflix lists the series as 30 episodes long. Season one was only 8 episodes apparently, so the next season is going to be long as fuck.
• I’ve been told by numerous “fans” that season two is awful. I hope these people are insane.
• James looks like a kid I went to school with. He was an asshole.

• The surrealism in this show is brilliant. The majority of the time it is so subtle it’s difficult to even catch on unless you’re holding it under a microscope. Other times, it’s blowing a hole in your face. But it’s not enough. I want more weird.
• Speaking of weird, the soap drama that Lucy is always watching, Invitation to Love, is madness. Every time we’re given the gift of a new scene from this fictional show within a show, it feels like a perpetual motion machine of lunacy. This is the show I imagine that plays after the 11 minute title scene of Too Many Cooks.
• I can’t watch this show while hungry. Every time Cooper eats a slice of pie or a donut, I die inside. Luckily, I’m nearly always drowning in coffee, so his constant coffee orgasms are tolerable.

• I like Cooper. He’s undeniably my favorite character of the show besides the Log Lady. Whoever shot him better pay with agonizing torture. Because seriously. Who the fuck shot Cooper?
• If the Log Lady shot Cooper, I’ll shit myself.
• If the Log Lady’s log shot Cooper, my shit will shit itself.
• I want to hear more about these owls. Why am I not hearing more about these owls?
• Can I pet these owls?
• where are the owls

• I hope we never find out who killed Laura Palmer. I have my suspicions. I don’t want to find out if I’m right or wrong. I want the mystery to live forever. If we find out who killed Laura, the show will lose its soul. Maybe that’s why it was cancelled. Please don’t tell me.
• Okay, it was the log, wasn’t it?