It’s come to my attention that some weirdo on Facebook has a grudge against me for the way I answered his interview questions last year. Yes, I know, many weirdos on Facebook have grudges against me. This specific case, however, is very amusing and baffling to me.
I am not going to name this person, as I don’t want anybody going after him online or anything like that, but I would like a chance to explain the situation considering the things he has already posted about me.
Okay, so to break down the timeline, on January 31, 2019, I received the following private message from Facebook Weirdo:
To be perfectly honest, I had completely forgotten we discussed doing an interview. I still don’t quite remember the circumstances but I guess he mentioned doing one via a comment on one of my statuses and I agreed. The top message you see in the screenshot is the very first private message he sent me.
Notice it took him almost 11 months to follow up with the actual interview questions. Which is hilarious, but whatever, it’s fine. When he messaged me about it again in November 2019 it took me a minute to even understand what he was talking about (the book I was trying to promote at the time came out in February, after all). I gave him my email address and he emailed me the questions, which I then answered that very night while working the night shift at my hotel job.
I sent him my answers and he never responded or posted the interview. After a couple weeks I went back and looked over my responses and realized I had answered his questions while going through a terrible depression episode. One of the answers in particular (to the “what is your longterm goal?” question) was kind of a bummer to read again, so I assumed that’s why he never ran the interview, although—and I cannot stress this enough—it is probably the most honest I’ve ever answered an interview question!
Most of the other interview questions, however, I gave a mix of serious and non-serious answers. I admit that I often get annoyed during interviews when asked questions that could be answered within five seconds of googling. For instance, at one point he asked what topics I talk about on my Castle Rock Radio podcast, which…I mean, come on, is that really the question you want to ask? So yeah. If I suspect little energy was spent on your question, then I am going to recycle an equal amount of energy answering them.
I also want to point out it took him almost 11 months to come up with the question, “Who is Max Booth III?”…which is hilarious.
I hadn’t thought about this interview in many months, probably since December, until a friend of mine directed me to a status on his Facebook page (I did not have access to it, but that’s why screenshots exist, baby):
Dude’s been stewing over my answers since November and finally posts about it in April. Not once has he said anything to me about it or addressed it in any way until this random Facebook rant. Again, I cannot stress enough how funny I find all of this. That someone would hold such hatred for me over answers I wrote for an interview that would provide free content to his dumb blog. Madness!
I will share one specific comment (well, the response to the comment) that made me laugh until I shot my asshole out of my nose:
“he’d get the Madman”
????
Cool. Very tough.
Anyway. Since the interview was never posted, despite being finished in November, and considering he’s so upset about the answers I gave him all these months later, I guess it’s totally cool if I proceed to publish the interview on my own site, right? That way everybody can see for themselves what a big fucking jerk I am for being so mean to such a poor helpless blogger. I just hope I don’t “get the Madman” now. That would be terrifying.
Okay, here’s the interview:
Tell us about your latest release, Carnivorous Lunar Activities. What’s it about and what inspired you to write it?
If I’m being honest, the book was mostly just an excuse for product placement. I was paid quite handsomely by McDonald’s and Pabst Blue Ribbon to create a novel featuring both of their products. Quite simply, I needed the money, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. As for the actual plot of the novel, I mean, it’s all very generic stuff I copy/pasted from various Wikipedia articles, which I then went through and restructured a sentence here and there; plus, of course, the aforementioned McDonald’s and Pabst Blue Ribbon material.
Other than being an author, you are also a publisher at Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. Tell us a little about PMMP. What’s it about? What made you start it? What sort of authors do you look for? Where do you hope to go with it?
I started PMMP because I hate myself, and I continue it for the same reason. These days I’m looking less for authors and more for readers—specifically, readers who are willing to pay actual money for a book. As I told a recent customer at Wizard World Comic Con, we publish books so scary they’ll make you come in your pants. Actually, I guess I can’t really refer to that guy as a customer, since he never did buy anything. He kind of left immediately after I told him that.
Give us some insight into your magazine, Dark Moon Digest.
It’s funny, but the name of our magazine is actually a typo. We intended to brand ourselves as Dork Moon Magazine and publish geeky science essays, but after we paid $400 for a banner with the word “Dark” on it, we decided it would be cheaper to just rebrand as a quarterly horror magazine. Turns out, we were wrong. This was way more expensive and now we are very, very poor. Please help us by purchasing our latest issue.
I understand you also run a podcast titled Castle Rock Radio. Where did the idea for this come from and what topics do you discuss on the show?
Well, I mean, that answer is pretty self-explanatory, right? We talk about Dean Koontz books and only Dean Koontz books. The idea came from Dean Koontz, who asked us to produce the show on his own dime. I still can’t believe he even approached us about this, but heck, sometimes the universe throws you a favor, right?
Who is Max Booth III?
Well, he’s not Dean Koontz, I’ll tell you that much.
Being an individual who is involved with so many different creative endeavors, what is your long-term goal in the author/publishing community? When it’s all said and done for you, what do you want people to remember you for? What do you want to look back on and be able to say, “I’m damn glad I did that”?
My goal is to die young. I don’t want to be remembered. I don’t want anybody to notice I’m dead. One day I’ll be working on a project nobody will care about, then the next I will be erased from the universe. I am involved in so many creative outlets because it is the only thing I know how to do. I am not equipped to do anything else because nobody taught me any practical skills as a kid and now I am too tired to teach myself. Every day I wake up and think, maybe this is the day I stop functioning and finally succumb to dust. The concept of success is a delusion. I’ve spent years trying to achieve certain goals, only for the excitement and satisfaction to completely drain away a day after accomplishing them. There is no such thing as “making it”. Some people can just pay their bills easier than others, and that’s about it.
Time for the generic question: Where did your love for writing begin and who inspires you most?
I used to scribble obscene messages on bathroom stalls, and eventually people started paying me for it. Barton Fink from the movie, Barton Fink, inspires me most. Actually, maybe John Goodman’s character is a better choice. In all truth, I’d rather be the head in the box. There’s a head in a box in that movie, right?
Word is that you just signed your next novel with Cemetery Dance. What can you tell us about that?
It is called Touch the Night and, basically, it’s about the universal truth that all cops are bastards.
If you could collaborate with one other author, who would it be and what would you want that collaboration to look like?
I wouldn’t mind collaborating with someone who has rich parents. Maybe then people would actually read my books.
What does the future hold for Max Booth III?
Dean Koontz recently hired me to write a sequel to On Writing, so I guess I better start getting to work on that before I have to return my advance.
What advice would you give to aspiring authors and/or indie publishers?
Immerse yourself into a community of similar creative types.
Anything you’d like to plug?
I have a Patreon and, if you like books so scary they’ll make you come in your pants, you should support it: https://www.patreon.com/pmmpublishing
Also, hey, since I’m updating this interview several months later, you should also go buy my brand-new novella, We Need to Do Something. Otherwise you’ll get the Madman.