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I need your help contributing fake reviews of a fake hotel in a fake town located in a fake book that was once real and will be real again

My hotel novel, The Nightly Disease, is currently out of print. Here’s an article I wrote about it for LitReactor. It sounds like I’m more sad than I actually am. I’m okay. It’s cool.

Anyway, I’m currently in the process of adding bonus content for a reissue, which will include an essay-length introduction titled “A History of Hotels,” bonus chapters, and a series of fake hotel reviews at the end of the novel. The reviews are where I need your help.

Only continue reading if you’ve already read the novel, because I am about to spoil the ending.

Here is my idea: after the book ends, I want a couple pages consisting of a series of fake reviews. The reviews will be written by guests who were staying at The Goddamn Hotel during Isaac’s last night there. So, these guests have experienced not only a fire, but owls had also invaded the building, there was a shoot-out in the lobby, little league coaches and parents partied like rockstars, and an employee turned a giant dildo into a torch. It was…an eventful night.

I would like you to write up a brief review from the POV of a guest who stayed at The Goddamn Hotel that night. Get as weird with it as you want. Nothing too long, keep them below 300 words. Feel free to use your real name for the guest or come up with something else, and don’t forget to give the star a rating (5-star system).

Send them to maxboothiii@gmail.com by August 5th. If I like what you come up with and decide to use it in the book, I’ll send you a signed copy of the new edition whenever it comes out.

One thought on “I need your help contributing fake reviews of a fake hotel in a fake town located in a fake book that was once real and will be real again

  1. I came to this Godforsaken hotel because I heard of some very strange experiences from friends-of-friends. Other than the creepy bastard at the front desk that checked me in, nothing of note really took place. Okay, around midnight, there was a knock on my door. There was a group of men in the hallway, all naked as jaybirds. They pushed their way into my room, tore my clothes off, and put a clear slicker over me. Then they ordered me to make animal noises while they circles around me, masturbating to conclusion.

    When they finished, they left… but not before taking the slicker with them. The rest of the night was just me, naked, lonely, and jerked-off upon.
    Just like the night that the Frat rejected me. Two and a half stars.

    I shall return someday.

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