My hotel novel, The Nightly Disease, is currently out of print. Here’s an article I wrote about it for LitReactor. It sounds like I’m more sad than I actually am. I’m okay. It’s cool.
Anyway, I’m currently in the process of adding bonus content for a reissue, which will include an essay-length introduction titled “A History of Hotels,” bonus chapters, and a series of fake hotel reviews at the end of the novel. The reviews are where I need your help.
Only continue reading if you’ve already read the novel, because I am about to spoil the ending.
Here is my idea: after the book ends, I want a couple pages consisting of a series of fake reviews. The reviews will be written by guests who were staying at The Goddamn Hotel during Isaac’s last night there. So, these guests have experienced not only a fire, but owls had also invaded the building, there was a shoot-out in the lobby, little league coaches and parents partied like rockstars, and an employee turned a giant dildo into a torch. It was…an eventful night.
I would like you to write up a brief review from the POV of a guest who stayed at The Goddamn Hotel that night. Get as weird with it as you want. Nothing too long, keep them below 300 words. Feel free to use your real name for the guest or come up with something else, and don’t forget to give the star a rating (5-star system).
Send them to email@example.com by August 5th. If I like what you come up with and decide to use it in the book, I’ll send you a signed copy of the new edition whenever it comes out.