I’m only a half hour into my last shift of the week at the hotel and I have already witnessed two marvelous things.

Behold…

***

Two little kids (maybe 5-6?) talking by the pool as their parents gather supplies:

Boy: “Well, that was a really good day of swimming, wasn’t it Alexis?”

Girl: “I guess.”

Boy: “I really liked the hot tub because it was hot. But I also liked the swimming pool because it looks like a bean. What a really good day of swimming!”

Girl: “Jeffrey, I’m tired, leave me alone. I need to rest.”

***

Then, when I return to the front desk there’s a group of drunks in the lobby slowly making their way to the elevator. One man is extremely pissed, and he starts shouting, “No, goddammit, listen, in Mexican culture…”

Another man: “Goddamn, I’m sick of your Mexican culture shit. Shut up!”

Drunk #1: “No, you shut up and listen for once. In Mexican culture–in real, honest to God Mexican culture, the woman in the marriage does not get to talk back to the husband.”

Drunk #2: “Jesus Christ.”

Drunk #1: “Listen, in true Mexican culture, the man is allowed to smack his bitch if she gives him lip. It’s true.”

Drunk #2: “You need to go to bed, man.”

Drunk #1: “Fuck you–”

Drunk #1 walks straight into the wall, face-first. Embarrassed, he storms toward the elevator.

Drunk #2: “In Mexican culture, are you supposed to walk into walls too?”