Hello! I am being forced at gunpoint to do my authorly duty of informing my massive, handsome audience that I will be doing a live reading this Saturday (that’s September 14th, 2019 if you somehow skipped the headline) at Wake the Dead Coffee House in San Marcos, TX at 4PM.

I moved to Texas in November 2011 and I have never heard of this coffee house before. San Marcos is even where the Greyhound dropped me off from Indiana and yet this whole establishment remains a mystery to me. How could I not know about a place called Wake the Dead?

I looked up the website for this Wake the Dead and the ABOUT US page describes themselves as a “funky, Tim Burton-esque house” which only further baffles me. Will I see Johnny Depp hanging out putting on awful accents? Will the first couple draft beers taste great, but the rest that follow make me want to vomit? Speaking of Tim Burton: I recently rewatched Ed Wood. That movie fucking rules the school and not enough people talk about it. Also speaking of Tim Burton, I’ll be doing another event next month called The Burton Ball, but I’ll talk more about that in a future blog post (unless I forget, so hell, here’s the facebook event page for The Burton Ball while I’m at it).

I do not know what to expect at this Wake the Dead reading, but I’m looking forward to checking it out, and I hope some random Russian spambot visiting this webpage also finds the time to come hang out with us. And by “us” I mean myself, Lucas Mangum, and Luciana Williams.

All three of us will be reading something. I do not know what Lucas and Luciana will be reading. I do not know what I will be reading. I also do not know why two out of the three readers’ first names begin with “Luc” and mine does not. I feel like maybe that’s bad luck. I feel like maybe I should cancel. But I won’t. I’ve made a promise to the two Lucs and I will not let them down. I will do this reading even if it results with a curse struck upon everybody I’ve ever loved.

Here is the facebook event page. See you Saturday. Maybe. But probably not? Maybe. I’ll see someone Saturday. Possibly you. Maybe you won’t even know it.