Category Archives: Blog

23 Years, 24 Films

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The latest Facebook list game going around involves naming your favorite film from each year you’ve been alive. I have never participated in one of these games before because I am a loser. But I finished a few editing projects earlier and I haven’t updated this blog like I’d like to, so here you go. It’s super short because I am an actual baby.

1993 – True Romance

1994 – Leon: The Professional

1995 – Seven

1996 – From Dusk ’til Dawn

1997 – Boogie Nights

1998 – Dark City

1999 – Fight Club

2000 – Snatch

2001 – Frailty

2002 – 28 Days Later

2003 – Oldboy

2004 – Shaun of the Dead

2005 – Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

2006 – Children of Men

2007 – No Country for Old Men / Zodiac (I can’t pick only one)

2008 – Let the Right One In

2009 – Moon

2010 – Four Lions

2011 – Drive

2012 – The Perks of Being a Wallflower

2013 – Only God Forgives

2014 – Whiplash

2015 – Mad Max: Fury Road

2016 – The Nice Guys

As for 2017, who knows? I’m willing to bet it’ll be one of the following: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Get Out, The Void, The Dark Tower, or A Dark Song. There’s a shit-ton of great movies coming out this year.

[SPECIAL] Pre-order the GARDEN OF FIENDS anthology, receive another book FOR FREE

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I’m excited to announce my new novella “Everywhere You’ve Bled and Everywhere You Will” will be published this April in Wicked Run Press’s Garden of Fiends anthology. My novella is about a recovering heroin addict who one day begins bleeding out of his penis and finds himself infested with spiders and weird hallucinations. It’s super gross and fucked up and y’all are gonna love it.

Also involved in this anthology: Jack Ketchum, Kealan Patrick Burke, Jessica McHugh, John FD Taff, Johann Thorsson, Glen Krisch, and Mark Matthews. Holy crap! What a lineup!

presale april 18

Also, since Wicked Run is such a cool press, they’re currently holding a special: the first 25 people to pre-order the eBook of Garden of Fiends and email a confirmation receipt to wickedrunpress@gmail.com will receive a FREE kindle book of their choosing by any of the authors in the anthology.

Last I heard, there were only SIX spots left, so hurry!

PRE-ORDER

Here are your choices for free books:

Jack Ketchum 
The Girl Next Door
Off Season
Offspring
Peaceable Kingdom
The Woman
Red

Kealan Patrick Burke
Kin
Sour Candy
Secret Faces
The Turtle Boy

Jessica McHugh
The Train Derails in Boston
The Green Kangaroos
Pins
Rabbits in the Garden

John FD Taff
The Desolated Orchard
I Can Taste the Blood
The End in All Beginnings
–
Max Booth III
How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers
Lost Signals (I edited this!)
American Nightmare (includes my short story “All the Beautiful Marilyns”
–
Johann Thorrsson
Not Your Average Monster: Volume 2
–

 

Glen Krisch
Where Darkness Dwells
The Hollowed Land
The Nightmare Within
Loss

–

Mark Matthews
Milk-Blood
All Smoke Rises
Lilly’s Tale: The Milk-Blood Trilogy
On the Lips of Children
STRAY

By the way, the kindle pre-order price currently listed on Amazon? I hear it’s gonna increase come publication day, so if I were you, I’d click my finger on the pre-order button SOON.

StoryAWeek #3: “RomanticHandsHolding.gif”

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I realized something on Saturday: I was only 600 words into a story I’m pretty sure is going to end up clocking in at the 7k mark, and I only had the rest of the day to finish it if I wanted to maintain the one-story-per week challenge. So I decided to hold off on it and wrote up a quick 500 word flash fiction titled “RomanticHandsHolding.gif”, which I’m pretty sure will be disregarded as spam whenever I email it out for publication consideration. This story is written entirely through cell phone notifications, and I had a lot of fun trying to piece it all together. I guess now that the new week has started, I’ll return to the longer story, currently titled “Scraps”. Pretty sure I can knock out a decent first draft by the next Saturday. If not, feel free to execute me. I know you want to. You’re practically drooling just at the thought of it.

StoryAWeek #2: “A Nervous Sleep”

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As mentioned previously on the blog, I’m attempting to write a short story once a week for the year of 2017, and possibly for every week afterward until I finally die, and maybe even a few weeks after that, too.

Story #2 was tricky to write. I actually had to write it twice before I felt comfortable enough to consider it finished. The first draft ended up being 4,200 words. It was dogshit. I couldn’t figure out how to approach it. I wrote it from the POV of the villain–this creepy-as-shit traveling magician–and it killed all the atmosphere. Sometimes writing from the POV of the “baddie” can ruin a story, especially in horror, because the more you can sympathize with the designated monster, the less fear you feel, right?

Anyway. I tossed the 4,200 words and rewrote it not just from the POV of a different character, but also in second-person, which is a style I’ve always wanted to try but never had enough courage to actually follow-through with before. Not only is it told in second-person present tense, but it’s written from the POV of two different people. The final word count ended up being 6,100 words. I think it’s pretty solid. It’s loosely based off a real interaction I had with a weird magician who stumbled into my hotel one night and performed a spontaneous magic show in the lobby for several hours.

It’s called “A Nervous Sleep”, which could change ten seconds after I post this blog.

To-Do List 01/12/17 – 01/15/17

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  • Turn my cell phone off in case the guy who’s supposed to be covering my shift the next four nights decided to skip town.
  • Ascertain I’ve blocked all management from Facebook so they can’t track me down and call me into work via private messaging.
  • Finish LitReactor column.
  • Finish Gamut column.
  • Finish short story titled “Nervous Sleep”.
  • Sign Chiral Mad 3 signature sheets.
  • Read slush before impatient authors set me on fire.
  • Consider the bonuses of being set on fire.
  • Send titles out to the Shirley Jackson Awards. (Holy shit, that was like $200. Fucking UK shipping, man.)
  • Watch that new Series of Unfortunate Events series on Netflix.
  • Read some of The Dime which is already fucking intense and awesome.
  • Rub Lori’s back.
  • Let her rub mine.
  • Pet a dog. Any dog. It does not matter.
  • Resist the urge to tweet about drinking coffee.
  • Play Until Dawn until dawn.
  • Try not to freak out.
  • Freak out.

To-Do List 01/09/17

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  • Pretend my lobby isn’t swarmed with drunk guests back from a funeral. Try not to snap.
  • Repeat the phrase “funeral party” over and over until the planet explodes. Possible story title? Well, now it is.
  • Write a new Gamut column.
  • Write a review for Little Heaven.
  • Write a new LitReactor column.
  • Think about writing a new short story.
  • Play Uncharted 4.
  • Consider adding some pages to Cirrhosis.
  • Drown myself in a tub of coffee. Rejoice as the liquid burns my skin off.
  • REJOICE!!!

To-Do List 01/08/17

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  • What’s already happened since midnight: I’ve kicked a meth addict out of the hotel, I’ve let a new mother cry on my shoulder, I’ve called the police, I’ve fallen in the swimming pool trying to fetch a guy’s cell phone, and I’ve covered my hands with fiberglass.
  • What I’m going to do the rest of the day: Cry and consider drinking lots of alcohol but instead I’ll probably just go to sleep and play Playstation.
  • Also gotta write some articles and finish Little Heaven and think about Story #2 of 2017’s Story a Week challenge.
  • Gotta read some slush, too.
  • Gotta do a lot.
  • Gotta drink some coffee.
  • This work shift has not been the best. I don’t want to do much of anything. I want to cut my hands off and scream into the sky.
  • Remind myself how magical La La Land was.

To-Do List 01/07/17

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  • Finally watch La La Land.
  • Finish article pitch for magazine.
  • Edit MYSTERY NOVELLA. Not a novella in the mystery genre. Just a novella I can’t talk about yet. I apologize for the confusion. Although the novella does indeed contain mysterious elements. But what doesn’t?
  • Argue with locals trying to barter the price I’ve listed for my used PS3.
  • Research anthologies and magazines currently open for submissions.
  • Finish reading Little Heaven and write a review.
  • Return to work after two nights off and try not to let misery devour me.
  • Let misery devour me.

StoryAWeek #1: “And All the World Drops Dead”

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As I mentioned before, I’m participating in 2017’s A Story a Week Challenge, which means I am attempting to write a new short story every week. I am keeping progress of the challenge on the blog for reasons I haven’t quite figured out.

The first story of 2017 is titled “And All the World Drops Dead”. While writing it, I’d titled it “Poison (Deadly Nightshade)” but I think the new one is an improvement. The story is about two women (one cis, one transgender) driving around LA, high and drunk with a gun. There’s also a supernatural entity involved, but I’d rather not spoil the surprise.

I really love these two characters (Layla and Sylvia) and hope to write more about them in the future. I am a believer that most novels should be short stories and most short stories are already too long, but with this particular one, I’m thinking I could easily expand it into a novella or novel someday in the future. But for right now, I’m perfectly satisfied with its length of 4,000 words.

I’ll update y’all if and when I sell it. Until then, stay tuned for next week! Will I write another story, or will I fail like the poor pathetic sack of meat I am?

I GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT.